The Cuckold’s Lovesong

I was organizing photos and videos recently for Str82Gay, an online multimedia blog about my own midlife sexual transformation when it hit me. That's when I realized, while looking over all the photos of all the gorgeous, smart, sexy women I married (and one I almost married), that I didn't even have the working title right.

Because I realized that I’m not gay in the same way I was never straight. I’m a hybrid, a sexual singularity: I’m a cuckold. Even worse (or better, depending), I’m a serial cuckold.

For reasons I never really noticed (much less analyzed, at the time), I wanted all the women I deeply loved in my life — including wives Mary (n the 1970s) and Christy (in the ’80s) and Colleen (my fianceé from 1995 to 2003) — to fuck other men. It turned me on. It still does, just thinking about it.

But by “fuck other men,” I’m not saying that I urged any of them to “take a lover” or “have an affair.” To me, when you love someone, that’s cheating. It also represents the kind of dumb, serial monogamy that women can think up all by themselves, and do, often with disastrous consequences.

Cheating, or being cheated on, didn’t interest me, because it can hurt, and I didn’t want any of us hurt by something as fun and foolproof as fucking.

What I did encourage them to become (and I helped each of them transform themselves into) were beautiful, seductive sluts: ready, willing, and able to fuck a cute guy (or an interesting one) whenever the opportunity presented itself — and alluring enough to create openings when opportunities didn’t present themselves, by means of touch, gesture, eye contact, body language, and sheer irresistibility.

Turns out that my approach wasn't foolproof, after all, considering that both marriages ended in divorce, and the almost-marriage didn't happen at all, and left me in financial ruin. Eventually, there was plenty of pain for everyone.

But while it worked, it was a beautiful thing. And the beautiful women in this photoset really were sexual goddesses. They just didn’t stay that way — or in love with me — happily ever after.

But that wasn’t their fault. In fact, I pretty sure now that it was mine.

18+. NSFW.